Defining The undefinable? (Mentoring)
Mentoring is a word many find scary and unable to actually quantify.
Walk the halls of education, sport & business and you'll find that the word mentor sits comfortably,
or is at least, used frequently. However, much of the detail and for want of a better word; the definition of mentoring is very subjective. Many of us have had mentors in our lives, I certainly have;
but I'm not actually sure those individuals that spring to my mind actually know that?
I mean, no body has ever stepped up at any given moment in my life and said; ' Hi I'm going to be your mentor'. I can instantly imagine a number of responses that would be less than encouraging to that supposed mentor. However, having said that I have often sought help, gained support 'knocked heads together', chewed the fat & debated with many people I respect, trust in certain areas that I needed guidance, & I have learnt loads. In short, I have worked with people I thought may be able to help or at least clarify my thinking.
Why you? Why me?
The people I have turned to for advice, guidance and support are invariably good listeners and people who have subject knowledge. The subject knowledge doesn't necessarily need to be 'specific' to an issue, indeed, their own experiences in related areas and life may be different and therefore another key to helping me move forward.
However, On reflection, I have approached or in some cases stumbled upon them because of their relevant standing and experience in areas I needed support in. interestingly, the guidance or 'light bulb' moment has come out of left field from a relative experience they have learned from another, that - is another key message. People have also approached me and I suppose these guidance (lighthouse) sessions I call them have had some longevity, so, mentoring May be the term used?
So: S/implementoring ?
We all need help, we are all still learning, we can always gain 'more'.
When we are not to proud or embarrassed to seek advice it is always from those you trust, respect and have relationship with. However, building a relationship from the outset is key.
Therefore, to be successful as a mentor or be a mentee, we need to build position an 'environment' where ego's are parked, relationships are built, discussions are had and opinions are shared. It's a place where listening is as valuable as talking, & where asking and NOT telling can open doors to new answers. The reason mentoring sits so comfortably in education, business & sport is that its skills have always been with us in various forms including: learning to drive, tying our shoe laces, crossing the road and in being a parent.
So, lets take grassroots football coaching as a vehicle for this particular debate:
Could I use new ideas to be a more effective coach?
Could I do more to develop both myself & my players: socially & technically?
Could I use some sound advice in building better relationships with parents & supporters?
If you answered yes to any of the above, it may just mean you are a good coach open to learning who may also benefit from a like minded mentor.
Break it down, it's just about the people, about relationships and being better.
