'Building Rapport’
‘A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well’
We have heard many times that ‘simplicity is genius’. Sometimes when we are looking for answers or solutions the ‘simple’ answers & solutions allude us, we convince ourselves to trawl for the potential deeper answers & meanings.
From a coaching perspective, a mentoring perspective, one of the most overlooked & an underused tool is the importance in building initial rapport.
Some key points to consider:
• Generally, people care deeply about themselves
• People like to feel important/worthy
• People like & trust their familiar environment (comfort zone)
• People open up & relate to people they trust
So if you are looking to offer support, feedback, support or advice:
Get people to talk about themselves
The best mentors are usually the ones that never say too much about themselves. They are great at building trust by asking questions, listening actively and feeding on what has been said. This tells the person that you have made them a priority, they are valued & they are important. This technique is most effective when you have a genuine interest and curiosity in the other person. So in football terms for example, a touchline cup of coffee, a chat, a mutual understanding is a solid & often necessary place to start in building ‘Rapport’.
You will also learn more about the person you wish to support. You will also most definitely learn something of interest for yourself: ‘Everyone you will ever meet will know something you don’t’
Remember names & relevant facts (Commonalities)
Nothing is more important to a person than their name. I bet a lot of us can remember a time when someone called you by the wrong name, especially publically? Therefore, make the effort to learn someone’s name when you first meet them & use it, it’s is a real compliment and it helps the person feel important. Also, by active listening remember a few key points, an event you discussed, an upcoming interview, their favourite team. When you revisit the initial chat mentioning their name and a relevant fact from the conversation will invoke trust & the fact you care. Also highlighting the ‘commonalities’ & shared experiences will develop a relationship grounded in understanding.
Connectivity
Once you have identified commonalities, a connection is developed. You can now more freely exchange ideas, & work together. Over time this relationship will allow you to check & challenge ideas, reflect & review. The trust you have developed will allow you to support, guide & offer advice.
Collaboration
This should be at the heart of any good relationship. You must build a sold rapport first & then you can collaborate & work more effectively. This means having shared & agreed approaches to problems, ideas as well as having common goals.
Remember, no matter what you are trying to achieve in life, gaining trust from other people will be an integral part of your success. Reflect on the points above, who are you trying to help? The mentee/coach? The players & their development? Definitely,… but ensure there is a bit of learning for you…
